Cocaine Addiction Recovery: 9 Lessons from Eli’s Personal Journey

3. The Surrender: A Crucial Shift from “Going” to “Surrendering”

The decision to seek treatment wasn’t an easy one for Eli. Despite losing everything, he was still hesitant. Death seemed like an easier option than recovery because he couldn’t imagine a different way of life. He describes a powerful moment that finally shook him from his denial: his mother came into his apartment and threw a bag of Narcan at him, saying, “Hopefully you won’t die.”

This moment of stark reality, combined with the loss of his job and home, pushed him to commit to a residential treatment program. He was given little time to change his mind—just 10 days before he could be admitted. This quick turnaround was a “blessing,” as any more time would have likely led to a change of heart.

Eli uses the term “surrendering” instead of “going” to treatment, and this distinction is profound. Surrendering, he explains, means you have to be willing to change your entire life. It’s not just about stopping drug use; it’s about digging deep to find the root causes of the addiction. It means letting go of the false beliefs that fueled the addiction, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve better.”

This act of surrender requires a level of vulnerability that is often foreign to people with addiction. “You have to allow yourself to be completely vulnerable,” he says. “You have to take advice. That’s something that addicts don’t do. We don’t listen to anybody but ourselves because there’s no reason to.”

4. A Life Coach and the Power of Connection

A pivotal moment in Eli’s journey was meeting a life coach and peer support specialist named Roger, two days before he was scheduled to enter treatment. Eli was skeptical that anyone could change his life, but Roger challenged him from the start.

Eli had been telling himself, “I don’t want to be a drug addict.” Roger responded with a simple, but profound truth: “Eli, you are a drug addict. You always will be a drug addict, but you can change and you can live a life of recovery.” This statement was a paradigm shift for Eli. He had always believed his only options were to be an addict or to be a miserable, sober person who was “white-knuckling” his way through life.

However, seeing Roger, who shared intimate details of his own recovery journey, provided a powerful visual of what a recovered life could look like. It wasn’t just about survival; it was about thriving. This personal connection showed Eli that a life filled with emotional and spiritual connection was possible.

5. The Power of Routine and Structure in Recovery

Eli’s experience in residential treatment taught him the importance of structure and routine. He found the repetitious nature of the program, such as daily check-in sheets, to be surprisingly effective. At first, it seemed tedious, but he soon realized that this routine was training him for life outside of the facility.

“That repetition and the structure… that was gearing me for the real world,” he says. This daily discipline, even in small tasks like making his bed or taking a shower, helped him build a foundation for a productive life. Idle time, he learned, can be a major trigger for relapse. By keeping himself busy and engaged, he could prevent his thoughts from spiraling back into old, destructive patterns. A structured approach to recovery is often a key component of successful treatment programs.

6. From Sobriety to True Recovery

A key lesson Eli learned is the difference between sobriety and recovery. Sobriety is simply not using. Recovery, on the other hand, is an ongoing process of self-improvement and growth. “Sobriety is being, you know, you’re not using, recovering is using the tools that you have gained to make yourself a better person,” he explains.

Recovery requires a deep dive into the root causes of addiction. Eli calls drugs and alcohol “the solution,” not the problem. They were his way of coping with underlying issues, such as past trauma or feelings of inadequacy. True recovery involves finding new, healthy solutions to take their place. For him, this was about connection. Once he stopped isolating himself and began to connect with others—family, old friends, and new people—his recovery truly took off.

7. Embracing the New Self and the Tangible Power of a Better Life

For a long time, Eli was not living for himself; he was living for his addiction. He was a manipulative, hard-shelled person who would push people away. Today, he is a different person entirely. He can look people in the eye, feel vulnerable, and genuinely connect with others. He is now living for the ability to be in his family’s lives and to form honest relationships.

Eli highlights a powerful truth about recovery: the joy and fulfillment of a sober life far outweigh the fleeting, manipulative power of active addiction. He describes the power of a sober life as “not tangible, but you can feel it.” This power is not about control over others; it’s about giving power to others by allowing them into your life. The power of a destructive lifestyle is a one-sided, fleeting feeling, but the power of recovery is a shared, lasting connection that he wouldn’t trade for anything.

8. The Unforgettable Reality: “It Never Loved Me Back”

One of the most poignant moments in the podcast is when Eli talks about his complex relationship with cocaine. He loved it, but he knows “it never loved me back.” He compares it to a one-sided relationship. The drug was always there for him, a constant presence for 13 years, but it was a destructive force that took everything from him.

This profound realization—that his addiction was a love affair with something that would only ever hurt him—is a powerful insight. While the memory of the high never truly leaves him, he now has the tools to understand that it is not what he wants or needs. Difficult times still happen, but they are now manageable because he has learned how to cope without his destructive “solution.”

9. Hope and the Path Forward

In just six months, Eli has made more personal progress than he did in 13 years of active addiction. He is now facing a new challenge—leaving town for a job, which will test his newfound independence and the strength of his recovery. He looks forward to coming back and celebrating nine months of sobriety, a testament to his dedication and hard work.

Eli’s story is a message of profound hope. He wants people to know that recovery is possible, even when death seems easier. He reminds us that while we may have done bad things, we are not bad people; we are often just lost.

Eli’s journey shows us that finding a new path is about surrendering, embracing vulnerability, and, most importantly, building genuine connections with the people and the world around you.