Self-Help for Depression: 10 Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices That Really Help

3. Remember That You Are in Control of the Practice

A common worry for people living with depression is that mindfulness might stir up uncomfortable feelings. Dr. Moser stressed the importance of choice:

Dr. Moser said:

If it is not feeling right for you, if it is bringing up tough feelings, please just disconnect from it. There is just no reason to stick with it if it is not feeling supportive to you.

This reminder reinforces self-agency. Mindfulness is not about pushing through pain—it is about finding what feels safe and supportive in the moment.

4. Learn the STOP Practice for Everyday Transitions

One of the most versatile tools Dr. Moser shared is the STOP practice, an acronym for a mindful pause:

• S – Stop what you are doing
• T – Take three deeper breaths
• O – Observe what you are feeling (body, emotions, thoughts)
• P – Proceed with awareness

As Dr. Moser explained:

S: Stop. Stop what you are doing. T: Take. Take three deeper breaths. O: Observe. Briefly observe what you are feeling right now inside yourself: your body, your emotions, and your thoughts. P: Proceed. Proceed with what you are doing.

She added that this is especially helpful for difficult transitions, like shifting from work to home life.

5. Recognize the Link Between Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Many people treat mindfulness and self-compassion as separate skills. Dr. Moser clarified that they are deeply connected:

Dr. Moser observed:

When mindfulness is in full bloom, self-compassion is there. And when self-compassion is in full bloom, mindfulness is there. So they really are two parts of the same whole of this wonderful internal resource that we have.

By bringing warmth and kindness into awareness practices, you move beyond observing life—you begin to nurture yourself through it.

6. Practice the Three Components of Self-Compassion

According to Dr. Kristin Neff’s model, self-compassion includes three pillars:

• Mindfulness – acknowledging the struggle of the moment
• Common Humanity – remembering that all people suffer at times
• Self-Kindness – responding with warmth rather than criticism

Dr. Moser explained how to apply them:

So saying to yourself, very clearly, this is a moment of difficulty. This is a moment of difficulty or of struggle. That is mindfulness: recognizing the difficulty of this moment… Difficulty is a part of life. Struggle is a part of life. All humans struggle, all humans. I am not alone.

These three elements help transform suffering into an opportunity for care.

7. Speak to Yourself the Way You Would Speak to a Friend

When self-criticism is strong, it can be difficult to generate words of kindness for yourself. Dr. Moser suggested flipping the perspective:

Dr. Moser encouraged:

Sometimes it is really hard to do this and we cannot really come up with the words that we need to hear. So if that is the case, can you imagine if you had a good friend who was struggling in this very same way, what would you say to that friend What would your tone of voice be What would the words be What would a simple message be that you could give to your friend, heart to heart And can you give that same message to yourself

This shift reframes inner dialogue, making compassion more accessible.

8. Add Soothing Physical Touch

Touch is a direct line to the nervous system. Placing a hand over your heart, on your shoulder, or clasping your hands together can send signals of care and safety.

As Dr. Moser suggested:

Perhaps feeling your hands touching each other in your lap or rubbing your hands together, putting a hand on your shoulder in a supportive way or putting your hand over your heart. Just giving yourself a bit of a soothing supportive touch and saying to yourself, May I be kind to myself.

Pairing physical touch with kind words deepens the effect.

9. Personalize the Words of Support

The power of self-compassion practices lies in finding language that resonates. Some people respond to phrases like:

• May I accept myself as I am.
• May I forgive myself.
• May I have the courage to make a change.

Dr. Moser explained:

Whatever it is that you need to hear. Sometimes it is really hard to do this and we cannot really come up with the words that we need to hear… So whatever you need in this moment. And are there any particular words of kindness and support that really are what you need to hear right now because you are in this tough situation

What matters is choosing words that feel genuine. Over time, these phrases replace shame or self-criticism with compassion.

10. Make It a Habit Through Small Repetitions

None of these practices are meant to be done once and forgotten. Like exercise, their power builds through repetition. Dr. Moser emphasized that even a 10-second pause can be a “self-compassion break.”

Dr. Moser concluded:

That is the self-compassion break. It comes from the Mindful Self-Compassion Program, and it can be done very quickly. I use this practice all the time, in just seconds, ten seconds, just to take that mindful and self-compassionate pause that I need to care for myself in that moment.

By weaving micro-moments of mindfulness into the day—whether at a red light, before a meeting, or while lying in bed—you train the nervous system to return to calm more quickly. Over time, these practices become go-to tools in moments of distress.

Key Takeaways

• Mindfulness and self-compassion work best together. Observing your experience without kindness can feel cold; offering kindness without awareness can feel shallow. Together, they create balance.
• Small practices make a big difference. Even one breath with a longer exhale can calm the body and reduce tension.
• You are not alone. The reminder of common humanity is central: all people struggle, and recognizing this truth eases isolation.
• Self-kindness takes many forms. For some, it is gentle words. For others, it is a hand on the heart, a phrase of encouragement, or even just pausing to breathe.
• Consistency builds resilience. Like strengthening a muscle, these tools become more reliable the more you practice them, even in very small ways.

Final Thoughts

Depression often convinces people they are powerless, isolated, and beyond hope. It whispers that they have no control over their thoughts or emotions. Yet the practices shared in this Giving Voice to Depression episode directly counter that narrative. They demonstrate that every person has small, free, and accessible tools to bring some relief in the moment.

Mindfulness and self-compassion practices remind us that healing does not always begin with sweeping change. Sometimes it begins with pausing at the kitchen sink, taking three slow breaths, and noticing: I am safe enough right now. It might mean placing a hand on your chest at night and whispering: May I be kind to myself. These seemingly small acts have the power to shift the trajectory of a moment, a day, and eventually a life.

Importantly, Dr. Moser and the hosts remind listeners that none of these practices are about perfection. They are not about doing them “right” or using them to avoid hard feelings. Instead, they are about creating space—space between reaction and response, between self-criticism and self-kindness, between despair and the possibility of hope.

In a culture that often prizes productivity over presence, pausing can feel counterintuitive or even indulgent. But in the realm of mental health, pausing can be lifesaving. As Terry noted, these practices are accessible anywhere—even while driving, even while lying in bed, even in the middle of a busy day. They are about turning toward ourselves with the same care and patience we would offer a loved one.

Ultimately, the gift of these practices is not that they erase depression or anxiety, but that they offer a way to live alongside them with greater compassion. They remind us that we are not broken, not alone, and not powerless. We are human—and being human means both struggling and having the capacity to soften that struggle with kindness.